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About Literature / Hobbyist Member Esper TortugaFemale/United States Groups :iconsmoshslash-deviants: SmoshSlash-Deviants
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Esper Tortuga
Artist | Hobbyist | Literature
United States
Complete List of All of my Smosh Fanfiction
A Drunken Predicament- Danisnotonfire/Anthony. Humor. Friendship. Slight Unrequited. (PG-13; Alcohol Use)
Almost There-Ian/Anthony Unrequited. Hurt. Comfort. Angst. (PG-13)
And Then There's Mari-Ian/Mari friendship. Ian/Melanie. Hurt. Comfort. Friendship. (PG-13)
Are They Gay?-Ianthony. Humor. Drama. (PG-13)
Awesome Shorts!-Ianthony. Romance (NC-17; Sexual Themes)
Be Thankful for Treehouses-Ianthony. Friendship. Romance. Thanksgiving Fic. (PG)
Bittersweet Vengeance-Iancorn/-Mentions of Ianthony. Romance (NC-17; Sexual Themes)
Bread-Ianthony. Humor. Romance (PG-13)
Comfort-Ianthony. Friendship. Comfort. (NC-17 for drug use)
Chocolate Cake-Ianthony. Romance (NC-17)
Christmas Crack!!!(A Smoshy Christmas Pt 3-Ianthony. Humor (NC-17 for rape scenario)
Companion-Ianthony. Unrequited. (NC-17 for rape scenario)
Dimensions -Anthony/Kalel. Supernatural. (PG-13)
Dixon Cider -Ianthony. Romance. (NC-17; Sexual Themes)
Dominance -Ianthony. Romance. (NC-17; Sexual Themes)
Dreamin-Ianthony. Romance. (PG-13)
Dream-Ianthony. Romance. (PG-13)
Either I'm Drunk or You're Hot-Ianthony. Romance. (PG-13 Alcohol use)
Encounters in the Dark-Ianthony. Romance. (NC-17 Sexual Themes)
Evil Eyes-Ianthony. Romance. Supernatural. (NC-17; Sexual Themes Involving Teen Interspecies/Male Adult)
Father's Day-Anthony/Ian. Friendship. No pairing. Angst. (PG)
Fictionally Frustrated-Ianthony. Humor Romance. (PG-13)
First Impressions-Ianthony. Romance. (PG-13)
Five Stages-Ianthony (Teen-Modern) Angst. Unrequited Love. (PG-13)
Follow Me-Ianthony. Friendship. (PG-13 Alcohol use)
Halloween-Ianthony. Horror. Action. Zombies (PG-13)
Here With You-Ian/Anthony. No Pairing. Friendship[. (G)
Hero-Ianthony. Humor. (PG)
Hurt-Ian/Anthony. Angst. Drama. No Pairing. Character Death. (PG-13)
Incidents-Ianthony. Romance. Drama. (NC-17 for later Sexual Themes)
Just A Text Away-Ian/Lasercorn, Ian/Unnamed Female. Romance. (NC-17 Sexual Themes)
Kama Sutra-Ian/Anthony. Established Relationship. Smut. (NC-17)
Lonely Here Without You-Ian/Anthony. Unrequited. Angst. (PG)
Love Cookies-Ianthony. Romance. Humor. (NC-17 Sexual Themes, Aphrodisiac Use)
Magic Brownies-Ianthony. Romance. (NC-17; Drug Use, Sexual Themes)
Pocky-Ianthony. Romance, Drama. (PG-13)
President Evil-Anthony/Barack Obama, Anthony/Kalel. Humor. (PG-13) As seen on Smosh's Livestream!
Sleeptalking-Ianthony. Romance. (PG-13)
So It's A Deal, Then?-Ianthony. Romance. (NC-17; Perverse Sexual Themes, Drug Use, Alcohol use)
Still A Better Love Story-Ianthony. Humor. Romance (PG-13)
Stuck on You-Ianthony. Romance. (NC-17; Sexual Themes)
Swayed-Ianthony. Teen Smosh. Fluff. (PG)
Sweater Ian-Ianthony. Fluff. (PG)
Teddy-Ianthony. Fluff. (PG) As seen on Smosh's Livestream!
The Best Cake Day Ever!-Don't read this crap. Parody, Humor (G)
That Awkward Moment When...-Deleted. See LiveJournal Link Below
The Joke's On You-Slight Ianthony. Humor. (PG)
The Last To Know-Slight Ianthony. Angst. Character Death. (PG13)
That Damn Cookie-Ianthony. Humor. Romance. (PG)
The Past Catches Up-Post Ianthony, Anthony/Kalel, Ian/Melanie. Romance. Angst. Friendship. Unrequited. (PG-13)
The Prank-Ianthony. Romance. (NC-17 rape-like scenario)
Their Last Goodbye-Ianthony. Friendship. Very Slight Romance. Angst. (PG-13)
Those Troublesome Glasses-Ianthony. Romance, Humor (NC-17 Sexual Themes)
Trapped-Angst. Character Death. Suicide/Depression trigger (R)
True Confessions-Ianthony. Romance, Suspense. (NC-17 Sexual Themes)
Unpredictable-Ianthony. Romance. Christmas Fic. (G)
Wanna Play?-Ianthony. Romance. (NC-17; Omorashi)
What Are Friends For?-Ian/Anthony Friendship. No Pairing. (PG-13 Violence, Language)
Whiplash-Ianthony. Romance (NC-17 Sexual Themes, Masochism)
Why Aren't You Here...-Ianthony, Ian/Melanie, Anthony/Kalel. Romance. Angst. (NC-17 Sexual Themes)
You're Gonna Love LA- Ian/Anthony. Friendship. Romance. (NC-17; Sexual Themes, Language)

Danthony 2013 Danisnotonfire/Anthony. Official Sequel to "A Drunken Predicament"
Surprise -Ianthony. Official Sequel to "Awesome Shorts!"
Untitled Ianthony. Warning: Mature content including rape, language, and sexual themes

Hello, I am Esper and I have many likes:

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Now you can find me on Ao3

Journal History

I was 13 when I had my first dixon cider.
  • Listening to: I had so much when I talked I would slur


12 deviants said HELL YEAH
4 deviants said THERE'S A SMOSH MOVIE?!?!
No deviants said yes
No deviants said maybe
No deviants said not really...
No deviants said FUCK NO
Mature Content Filter is On
(Contains: nudity, sexual themes and strong language)
Ian rolled off Anthony's naked body with a sigh onto the rustled gray and black checkered sheets next to him on their bed. His heartbeat was beginning to settle down and his breathing was beginning to slow as he was beginning to enter the post-orgasmic stage of relaxation he usually felt after making love with Anthony. He let it run its course throughout his body as he always had, not really acknowledging anything on his mind, just staring ahead at the wall littered with Anthony's various Nintendo posters. The silence lasted a few moments until Anthony began stirring, catching his attention. He watched as Anthony silently moved aside some sheets and began sitting up.

"Hey," Ian called lightly.


"You okay?"

He saw Anthony hesitate slightly, then smile. "I'm good. Great." He started picking up his clothes off the floor, separating Ian's in a pile on the bed.

"Was it the sex?" Ian said lowly.

Anthony turned around. "Was what the sex?"

Ian shrugged and flipped over, sighing.

Anthony bent down to pick up the crinkled boxers from the floor and walked back to the edge of the bed where Ian was laying down. "Well, I mean," he began, not sure where to take the sentence, " was just sex, you know?" He tossed the undergarment in the laundry hamper against the wall. "It wasn't bad if that's what you're thinking. It was just..." He paused then immediately shrugged, shaking his head. "I dunno."  He flashed Ian a half smile then stood back up to rummage his closet for fresh clothes, pulling a clean gray shirt from the hanger.

"Just what?" Ian pressed. "Come on, Anthony. What is it?"

Anthony sighed at himself for even starting to bring up such a touchy subject. "I just..." He trailed off again making Ian want to dwell on the matter even further.

When he didn't say anything else Ian scoffed and rolled over in the sheets. "Alright, whatever, dude. Goodnight."

"It's just getting a little boring, okay?" Anthony quickly blurted. Ian turned his head and looked at him with wide eyes, mouth open, ready to shoot some angry retort back, but Anthony cut him off. "Sorry, I don't mean you're boring, I just mean... it's been feeling a little... repetitive, you know? Like, I love having sex with you, dude, but..." He ran a hand through his hair and hesitantly continued. "I just feel like there's something missing. I can't really describe it."

Ian rested his elbow on his knee, placing his chin in the palm of his hand and thought about it. He and Anthony have been having sex almost every night for about four months now. It was pretty wild at first. They could barely keep their hands off each other then and had sex multiple times a day. Then, after a few months without even realizing it, they had slipped into a routine of sorts. Despite wanting to think they had the perfect sex life, Ian had to admit his partner was right: their sex life was actually kind of dull.

"I guess you're right, now that I think about it," Ian murmured. He brushed his fingers along the stubble on his face. "What do you suggest we do? Try some toys? Do something kinky? Try new positions?"

Anthony plopped down heavily on the bed. "I don't wanna go to a sex shop and risk people seeing us. Also, I really don't wanna use any of the dildos the fans sent us because we don't know where the fuck those things've been."

Ian shuddered and made a retching noise at the thought, then perked up inquisitively when an idea struck him. "Hey let's just look online."

"Sure," Anthony agreed. "...but can it wait until tomorrow? I'm ready for bed and I wanna cuddle you." He went under the covers and put his arm around Ian and Ian sighed comfortably, laughing lightly.

"Alright. We'll search tomorrow, babe. Night."

Anthony settled against Ian's body in a spooning position and slid his arm around his chest. "Night."


The next day Ian had done a web-search on how to improve your sex life, as embarrassing as that may have been if anyone besides Anthony ever found out. Really, the thought of having someone else tell him how he should manage such an intimate part of his life was a little off-putting, but Anthony had insisted he try to have a look while he was busy with video editing. Ian scrolled past websites with detailed descriptions of their stimulating products available, scrunching his face at some of the more obscure and bizarre things he could never imagine people using in the bedroom.

"There's like, a fetish for everything nowadays, dude," Ian finally said aloud to his partner, sitting across from him at the table. Anthony shrugged, slightly-interested and continued clicking his mouse on a video frame. "They even have fucking costumes. Dress up like a seductive school teacher and give your partner a lesson in love," Ian read aloud a description on the site he was on in a mockingly seductive voice.

Anthony chuckled to himself, imagining Ian dressed like a skimpy school teacher and glanced up at Ian, smirking. "Maybe they have those in your size.”

Ian rolled his eyes and continued scrolling down, shaking his head. "Fuck that." He clicked out of the site onto another that suddenly drew his attention. He made an interested hum that caused Anthony to lift his face from his screen and try to read Ian's suddenly interested face.

"What? Find something interesting? Bacon flavored lube? Justin Bieber blow up dolls?" Anthony kept his gaze on Ian as Ian's eyes darted across the screen.

"No dude, but check this out. Maybe we don't have to spend a ton of money to improve our sex lives after all. Let's just try out new positions." Anthony raised an eyebrow and walked over, looking over at the screen that had peaked Ian's interests. "Alright, check this out, man. It's called Kama Sutra and it's kind of like weird sexual yoga or something."

Anthony giggled at Ian's description then reached over his arm to scroll down and see more. "Oh yeah, I've heard of this. It's supposed to be this ancient book with all these weird-ass positions in it."

Ian nodded and let out a small breath as he studied the different positions. "But we don't actually have to buy a book because we can find all the positions on this site, and look," Ian scrolled further to a video link. "They even have videos we can watch to see how the hell they actually do it."

Anthony cringed and backed away holding his arms out. "Dude. No way am I watching some instructional video of creepy weird people having sex."

Ian rolled his eyes again and scoffed. "You never had a problem watching porn. How is this any different?"

Anthony glared at him with a you gotta be fucking kidding me look. "They're not exactly models here. I mean this guy's gotta be at least as old as my dad."

"Oh my god, dude," Ian shuddered, clutching his head and groaning. "I do not want to talk about your dad while we're talking about sexual positions. Please, god no." Anthony laughed and apologized half heartedly. "Alright, we'll skip the damn videos and look at the pictures instead. It's less awkward that way anyway."

"That's what I've been trying to t-"

Ian shushed him and nudged his shoulder. "Shut-up, asshat." Anthony scoffed and shoved him back a little harder. "Ow, dickwad!"

Anthony rolled his eyes and grinned, placing his hands on Ian's shoulders and began massaging him, something that always made Ian melt. "We'll try some out tonight, babe."

Ian clasped his hand and nodded, lulled by the way Anthony knew exactly where every bothersome knot and stiff muscle was. "Okay."


It was getting late and Ian finally closed out of the writing program where he was working on a script and started getting ready for bed. He waited for Anthony to come out of the bathroom in bed with the tv on some mindless show and shut it off when he finally arrived wearing only his dark gray boxers and a small smile lingering on his lips. Ian always was taken aback by how sexy Anthony was and he'd think about every little feature on his body that he'd mapped out in his brain. "You're looking sexy as usual," Ian pointed out with a hint of lust in his voice. Anthony continued smiling as he pulled over the covers and slipped in bed next to him.

"You still wanna-?" He asked almost jokingly asked because everything about the way Ian was laying on the bed screamed he was ready to pounce on him at any second.

Ian licked his lips and locked his eyes on him, humming in agreement as his face inched closer to his lover's. "I'm so fucking ready," he murmured over the lips that immediately connected with his. Anthony moaned softly as he felt Ian's tongue slip past his teeth and slide over his own; his senses overwhelmed with his partner's scent and touch like a drug. Ian places a hand on his side to the waistband of his boxers, sliding one, then two, fingers underneath, pushing them down past his hips and freeing him of all restrictions.

"I'm feelin' pretty fucking horny right now. We need to fuck right now," Anthony murmured against his lips.

Ian stroked his cheek and softly pecked him on the lips as their foreheads pressed together and their legs slid together above the bed. "Ready to try something new, babe?" he hinted softly as he began pulling away and reaching for his laptop. "I found some positions that look really hot."

Ian and Anthony sat upright with their bodies pressed closely together as they began to scroll the page for a position that jumped out at both of them. "There's the crab, the elephant posture, the black bee..."

"Dude, most of these are named after animals," Anthony laughed, skimming the list. "Congress of a cow?! What the fuck."

"Well look at this one. It's called the Rising Position and it doesn't look too hard." Ian glanced over at Anthony and Anthony shrugged.

"Alright, but I'm fucking you since you called this one and in the next one you can fuck me."

"Deal!" Ian smiled as he lay back on the bed. Anthony began to prep himself by smearing his cock with the lube on the nightstand and scooted on his knees in front of him. Ian closed his eyes and took a deep breath as Anthony began to lube his entrance in preparation for their first position. Ian moaned softly at the feeling of Anthony's slick fingers sliding inside him, pushing against the walls and loosening him up for the grand entrance. When Anthony was just about ready, he positioned himself at the opening then glanced up at Ian.

"You need to uh, put your feet on my shoulders, so lift your legs."

Ian scooted forward awkwardly and lifted his legs in the air where Anthony was on his knees in front on his. "Like this?" He asked trying to move a foot on his partners shoulder, but when the other came up Anthony was looking to the screen at the picture guide and didn't notice the foot smack him in the face.

"Dude! Ugh! Gross!" He exclaimed as Ian pulled away his rather hairy foot from his face.

"Sorry!" Ian quickly apologized with a small giggle.

"It's not funny! Ugh. Whatever. Anyways..." Anthony grunted as he tried to balance himself on his knees in front of Ian, this time successfully pulling both of Ian's feet on his shoulders. "O-okay, uh..." Anthony didn't know what to do with his hands so he gripped Ian's thighs causing him to wobble slightly.

"Dude, are you sure this is how you're supposed to...?" Ian trailed off.

Anthony furrowed his eyebrows and grunted. "It's close enough." Ian began to feel slightly uncertain about the whole thing until he felt Anthony push himself inside. He gasped quietly and blinked several times, allowing his tense muscles to relax and enjoy the feeling of his partner inside him, filling him. Ian moaned softly and Anthony took that as a sign he was doing something right. He pushed himself in and began to thrust, and it seemed to work for a while at first until his shoulders began to ache from supporting the weight of Ian's legs. "Ian, I don't think... maybe we should..."

"..change positions?" he offered. "Yeah, uh I think my leg..." Anthony moved Ian's foot from his shoulder but it slid off too quickly and made Anthony lose his balance causing him to fall over on the bed. "...fell asleep," Ian concluded as Anthony grunted against the bed. Anthony turned over, laying on his back and staring up at the ceiling when Ian suddenly piped up from beside him. "Hey, maybe there’s a position where you stay where you are just like that. Hold on."

"Okay," Anthony's erection pointed skyward and he sighed softly as Ian scrolled the laptop.

"You know I could put a little flag on that pole and claim you," Ian smirked looking at his boyfriend's cock. Anthony rolled his eyes and sat up only to have Ian push him back down. "No, no! Dude! I found something, but you have to stay just like that." Ian looked from the screen to Anthony on the bed. "Okay. Just move your arms... like this...and I'll move over here..." Ian places his hands on Anthony's legs and Anthony looked at him.

"Dude, what are you-?"

"Just...! Okay. Ready?" Ian was positioned awkwardly to Anthony's side and the taller of the two bit his lip.

Anthony crinkled his nose to Ian and opened his mouth to speak, closed it, then opened it again. "Um... okay...?"

Anthony pressed inside once again and gripped Ian’s hip. “How am I supposed to…?” he trailed off, trying to figure out how to thrust but he quickly figured it out and suddenly he started feeling pretty nice. Actually, he was feeling really good now. His lips parted and he grunted softly as he moved his body against Ian’s in a steady rhythm. “Hey, think I’m finally starting to get the hang of this!” He opened his eyes and glanced at the younger flushed faced man beside him to find him clasping to the edge of the bed.

“Shit shit SHIT,” Ian loudly ground out as he lost his grip on the mattress, taking a tumble down to the bedroom floor below. Anthony quickly peered over the edge down to the floor where the naked man lay groaning and muttering “fuck,” under his breath.

“Holy shit, are you okay Ian?” Anthony slid off the edge to help him up.

“I fell on my ass,” Ian groaned, rubbing his backside. “This isn’t really working the way I had pictured it.”

“Yeah, I know what you mean,” Anthony agreed, pulling him to his feet. “Well… what do you wanna do? Keep trying more weird-ass positions?”

“Fuck no!” Ian practically spat out.

Then it hit him.

He moved up besides Anthony’s ear as his hands slipped over his thighs, whispering in a lower more sultry voice. “Remember when we were on set and I pushed you into the dressing room and we fucked each other senselessly on a pile of costumes?” Anthony’s breath hitched at the memory and he nodded. Ian’s finger’s traces along the slender frame of his partner down to where the hipbone was and he grinned. “Remember when we fucked on the floor of the Smosh Games room after all that vodka and your cum dripped all over our chests? Remember how fucking hot that was?” Anthony shuddered and felt the blood flow between his thighs increase suddenly. Ian smirked as his wandering fingers made their way down the v line, ghosting his fingers over the erection that yearned for his touch.

“Oh, fuck,” Anthony groaned, trying to press himself against the touch just as Ian pulled away. Ian tried to hold back his grin as Anthony let out a tiny whimper. His breath was hot against Anthony’s ear and the stubble brushed against his exposed neck.

“Don’t forget about the time we locked ourselves in the bathroom during that shoot and you licked the chocolate off my face and I sucked your dick until you came all ov-”

Anthony grunted before Ian could finish and shoved him onto the bed. “You fucking tease. You motherfucking tease!” Their lips clashed together in a furious kiss that Ian couldn’t stop even if he wanted to. The two rolled all over the bed heatedly mashing their tongues against one another and nipping down on their lips, their erections pushing against one another creating a friction which caused the both of them to crave more from the other. Ian’s dull fingernails dragged over Anthony’s back and Anthony hastily pushed himself up. Their breathing was erratic and Ian felt Anthony filling him as he pushed inside his entrance and his reflexes bucked forward allowing as much of Anthony as possible to fill him.

The feelings were indescribable, the sensations overwhelming. Anthony thrust himself deep into Ian and Ian, barely able to keep up, tried to match each one, but with every short heated gasp, every push that sent his mind swimming up an erratic waterfall, he grew closer to reaching the top. Anthony himself, his vision clouded with lust and want, felt himself begin to reach that point as well. With Ian’s knees spread apart and his hips gyrating upward to take more in, Anthony wrapped his hand around the neglected shaft that bobbed between the two men forcing the flushed freckled Ian to throw his head back and groan slurred obscenities against his dampened pillow. Strands of hair stubbornly stuck to Anthony’s face as his hand vigorously began pumping upward and over the base of the length, the palm occasionally encircling the head and the moistened slit beneath it.

Both were close. Very close. Ian’s normally pale body was flushed. Anthony body was on fire. The sheets long ago were pushed aside almost to the floor by their hurried bodies and it was just as Anthony’s hand made just the right amount of strokes and his thrusting pushed against Ian’s clenching wall at just the right angle, in that perfect moment Ian came and it was so gratifying, it was so much more intensified than he could ever remember sex being like that he needed to blink several times as he caught his breath.

Anthony’s hand was slick with a warm sticky coating and his hand dropped the spent length to the space between Ian’s arm and his chest, his other arm doing the same. Ian could feel him getting closer with each passing thrust, each heaving grunt that escaped Anthony’s lips. Ian did an upwards thrust that made Anthony jolt so he did it again and holy shit that was just enough to bring him teetering over the edge. His body pumped into Ian, filling him entirely and replenishing him to the core with his fiery essence. He stayed inside for a moment, taking in the moment, the feel of Ian around him just for one more second before he slid out collapsing onto his side, his breath ragged and uneven much like Ian’s himself.

“This…” Anthony finally managed to get out in one of his breaths. He waved his hand over the two of them for no less than two seconds before collapsing onto the bed. “…this was your idea? This whole thing was your idea, huh?”

Ian laughed and shook his head, lazily patting Anthony’s leg and sighing contently. “You really think I planned this whole thing out to us having to do weird sex yoga just to get frustrated to the point that I end up seducing you with our sexy past and make you horny enough to fuck me?” Anthony realized how ridiculous it sounded, but just as he was about to take it back Ian grinned widely and blinked away with a small chuckle. “That’s just ridiculous. Of course not!” Ian glanced back at him and Anthony smiled back at his boyfriend, wrapping his arms around him and sighing deeply.

He felt Ian chuckle softly against the sheets.
Kama Sutra
When all the passion seems to have fizzled away Ian and Anthony try to spice up their lives in the bedroom by trying something new, but will these new techniques actually work or end in disaster?
Ianthony. (NC-17) Smut, Established Pairing

Request for one of my art contest winners

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Claritea Featured By Owner Jan 22, 2015  Hobbyist Digital Artist
your question was in a Lunchtime video :D…
EsperTortuga Featured By Owner 6 days ago  Hobbyist Writer
yeah i know! i watched it when it came out ^w^
Eimie1 Featured By Owner Jan 13, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
Thanks for the llama Esper :love: :hug:
EsperTortuga Featured By Owner Jan 13, 2015  Hobbyist Writer
no problem!
PatrisB Featured By Owner Jan 5, 2015  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
thx for the fave :)
TigerSponge Featured By Owner Dec 13, 2014  Student Digital Artist…
Here you are sweetheart! Thank you for your order and Ihope this suits what you'd expect from your brilliantly written story! :love:
EsperTortuga Featured By Owner Dec 14, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
thanks again! <33 you're the!
foxopathic Featured By Owner Oct 29, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
EsperTortuga Featured By Owner Oct 29, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
foxopathic Featured By Owner Oct 31, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
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